Thursday, August 30, 2007

Reborn to a Life with God

Reborn to a Life with God
Dan Gilmore

I am Divorced with two Sons. The failure of my marriage and loss of day to day life with my children was hard to accept. I stuggled for many years with this loss. I regret that part of the time I distanced myself from my boys in an effort to spare myself the pain of loss. I in the end found myself sinking deeper and deeper in solitude and self absorbed sorrow. The world has many distractions for those who have lost thier way. Sex, drugs, persuit of wealth, and alcohol are just a few of the distractions. My distraction of choice became alcohol. I had aquired a quart a day addiction to drinking away my disatisfaction with the path my life had taken. Toward the end I discovered drinking could no longer numb the pain or fill the emptiness in felt in my heart. I spiraled further down into dispair. I cannot say what was the catalyst that born the thought that life had to have more to offer than this. Thoughts began to emerge that life should not feel this empty, and I should not feel this lost. I was fast approaching the bottom of dispair in my life. Words cannot properly discribe how sad and alone I felt inside. It was a dead hollow feeling of nothingness and emptiness. I no longer cared for myself which in turn meant, I cared less for others around me, others who did love me. Somewhere along the way I no longer loved myself, or the life I was living.

One day I awoke with the resolve to quit drinking. I went all out and went to meatings and gave it my best effort. It was with great difficulty at first, I had the shakes from the abstenece of alcohol. There were days I felt like giving in the the temptation to drink again. The day I found the answer is when my life turned around. I remebered being raised as a Catholic and about God the Father but I did not speak to him thease days. I was ashamed of what and who I had become.

The day I finaly had the courage to ask for God's help with my addiction is the day I was reborn. Life for me now began to have hope. Then one day a friend gave me a book to read. " The Purpose Driven Life." Wow!! did I need to read the message in this book. My hope began to grow by leaps and bounds. I have passed this books message to others in hopes that thier life would be changed as mine had. I no longer have this hole in my heart, a hole that God was meant to fill.

I now know that God had never given up on me, I had given up on myself when I turned my back on Him. I cannot begin to tell you how I feel him alive and working in my life today.
The postcard I recently recieved from my 27 year old Son on my 2 year anniversary of sobriety says it all.

Dad sorry I missed your 2 yr birthday. I am so proud of you. You have come back from the worst. You are my Hero. Love your Son!!

My anniversary date was September 9 th 2004 The most gratefull thing I have in my life today is not that I no longer drink, it is that God walks with me today as he always had even during the days I ignored the blessings he was willing to bestow in my life.
Thank you God! And thank you Rick Warren for your God given message!!
May God Bless all who read this. And may he change your life as well Amen!!

0 komentar:

Daily bread Archive